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Sunday, January 23rd, 2005
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Thursday, October 21st, 2004
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i never had so much fun watching people go to the house to get a pop. first bob went in the house and he just started laughing and and walking funny. then steph went in the house and i heard her yell that bob was melting and then the rest of the house and that it was all going to hell. then chris was just laughing and inventing weird ways to combine his two favorite things... and then i just sat in the car for like five minutes with some "person" while everyone else was inside. then steph and chris walked back out and i realized it wasn't even a real person. i was talking to no one. i told them what had just happened and they just cracked up laughing. what a crazy afternoon. steph and chris are the best.
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, October 20th, 2004
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Monday, October 18th, 2004
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Tuesday, September 28th, 2004
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| Time: | 7:05 pm. |
| Mood: | self concious. |
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i'm so tired and it's only tuesday...
i've come to the realization that i'm just not going to homecoming this year. no date, no group and i didn't even bother to look for a dress.
i've also given up on the "natural beauty" thing. so i didn't wear makeup to school for one day. don't people have anything better to do then make comments to me about how weird i look? feeling self concious is the last thing i need... my step brother called me "really ugly" today and he was dead serious too. it's not like he's never seen me without makeup. i guess today i just looked extra pasty and plain.
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Monday, September 20th, 2004
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| Time: | 10:07 pm. |
| Mood: |  depressed. |
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i'm kinda just sittin here thinkin alot right now..
i'm not sure if i just fucked things up or made them better for myself. probably a little of both.
i feel really bad, but i probably seemed like such a bitch to him. i just didn't want to break down in front of him. so much for that not happening.
these next few weeks are gonna be strange. i feel a little lost, but i just have to dirrect myself..i mean that's why i did make this decision. i feel like i'm convincing myself now, trying to tell myself i did make the right decision...
fuckkkk...
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Wednesday, September 8th, 2004
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you deserve to be punched in the face if you go to school wearing...
- a pair of jeans with a miniskirt over them
- pajama pants with a studded belt
- two different colored chuck taylors
i can't think of anymore at the moment, but i'll go to school tomorrow and i'm sure i'll have more to add.
people are so lame.
i finally got through the thick heads of the counselors in the guidance office..i'm graduating early in january!!
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Thursday, September 2nd, 2004
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| Time: | 9:17 pm. |
| Mood: |  irate. |
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the the republican national convention was on tonight...
they showed this little story thing that made bush look this holsum down to earth kinda guy. it seriously bugged the fuck out of me. they showed him talking to little old ladies and people from small towns and injured soliders that were fighting in the war that did not need to be fought.
i hope he loses.
what bothers me the most is that if he's elected again, theirs a good chance that women all over the nation arn't going to be able to choose on the issue of abortion. fuck that. why should MEN be making laws that effect the lives of WOMEN?!?
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Sunday, August 29th, 2004
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i compiled a list of the nights that stood out the most in my memory of this summer...
navy pier + fire works + nick tankula's swimming pool
sleep over at dan's with emily + trip to jewel + monster drink
trip to get ashley from joliet + sleep over at my house with ashley and emily + lots of energy drinks + perverted jokes
party at gus's house
night at gus's house with nina and emily
the party i through at my uncles house...dave summers
warped tour + ending up in indiana
streetlightmanifesto show + preshow activities
dan's garage with emily and stephanie and everybody + denny's
emily's first encounter with sal + teqilla
gocarting with ashley, emily and rick
trip to wisconsin + big chief themepark + some big cheifing
the night i painted my moms room with emily
trip to the city with ashley and emily + the dress up game in forever 21 funny pictures
going to see the village two times with stephanie + premovie activities
trip to the mall with steph and sam + sam giving me a haircut
bleaching emily's hair + baseketball
going to great america + my birthday + my t-shirt
night at the holidome with emily, steph and ash + binging at baker square
showing up to rick's wrestling show late + getting lost
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, August 11th, 2004
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she keeps trying to make it out like she wouldn't have been mad if i had told her and not lied. but i know she would've had the same reaction.
she's mostly mad cause i lied. she won't let me go out anyplace and her answers to evreything i ask her are usually "no" and "i don't care". when she knows the question is not that important she says "i don't care". when she knows the question is concerning something i want to do she says "no". other then that, she avoids all conversation with me what so ever.
when she first found out i asked her to keep it a secret from the rest of the family. i know how she likes to share information with my grandparents. today she told me she wouldn't bother telling anyone because she was too ashamed and embarrassed of me. then she called me "a fucking hussy".
i asked her when she would start letting me go out again. her answer was when i made an appointment and did everything she had always told me to do. then she also added that she was going to start treating me the way she beleives i should have been treated six months ago. She says she can't trust me anymore either so now she's gonna treat me that way.
now she deliberatly treats my other two brothers better then me, purposely when i'm around. she says the only reason any of this stuff ever mattered to her was because she loved me and cared about my safety. i'm really starting to tell how much she loves me. thanks mom.
my self worth is so depleted.
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Comments: Read 6 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, August 4th, 2004
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| Time: | 11:05 pm. |
| Mood: |  amused. |
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so me and dan were sittin in the garage together today. just sittin back and disgusing super important things...
then it occured to both of us that we were together practically the whole day. he just showed up at my apartment in rollerblades. then we went to pick up some stuff at my uncles house, and in the mean time stop by matt p's to hear him sing his new song. then we made the night changing pit stop and then proceeded to chill in the garage. this whole little story was so amusing and funny at the time..but i guess you had to be thier..i thought it was funny though..i think he did too
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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i thought that was mildly entertaining...
everything went as planned this past weekend, minus the brief suckyness at warped. the party thingy went well and my uncle even payed me when he came back.
i never thought i would see dave summers the way i saw him that night. the poor kid puked his brains out in the grass and then he passed out. he uttered a bunch of funny things such as lines from that one rap song "get low" and now i don't think i'll ever look at him or that song the same again. everybody said some pretty funny things, like i recall steph calling someone "a mug runcher". and poor little amy...she took one hit and she was euphoric or somthing.
then on the way to warped we somehow made it into indiana. i thought it was kinda funny. then when we got there they told us that it sold out. then a half hour later, some more were magically released and put on sale. stupid box office...
sunday ultimatly ruled the weekend. streetlight manifesto was so great. then we walked and got pizza and i guess that was fun too. one of the funniest things about that night though was the comments and comparisons between "the anaconda" and "the worm". emi and steph crack me up with their dirty schemes...
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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| Time: | 7:05 am. |
| Mood: |  restless. |
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it's really early in the morning right now...but i heard my phone go off and i can't fall back asleep..thanks to rick
so the past weekend probably couldn't get any better then it did. i went bowling and hung out alot. i hung out with steph and went to rick's wrestling show, and emily finally came to watch too. i finally feel like everything is perfect again. the friendships that meant alot to me are just like old times again.
i drove to wauconda the other night to get to rick's wrestling show and wow...that was scary. this one town we stopped to get directions in was so creepy. and it was getting dark, and their was alot of corn fields and country side. that was an interesting little road trip. thanks to emily's small bladder we stopped a million times and i finally got right directions. i'm probably over exagerating a little...but it was fun. the whole night was lots of fun.
three more days til my parents leave...
friday= party
saturday= warped tour
sunday= streetlight manifesto
and the whole time my parents arn't gonna be here
it's like a movie or some kind of miracle or somthing..
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...i swear i've found my better half
i just saw the movie the notebook and i don't think any other movie has affected me the way that one did. it's almost kinda pathetic. it's funny cause the only thing i could think about the whole time was my richard...
but on a brighter note, summer's lookin up. my parents and uncle are going away the 21st through the 25th. i'm house sitting =D
it's gonna be good.
i've seen emily every single day this summer at least once. i'm such a nerd. alot of other people i've seen this summer have contributed to my good times and happiness...ash, steph, sam, richard...the list goes on. and wow, i was shocked at the shit that got straightend out friday night. i mean, it's not like i even remeber that well, but apperently i'm cool with mike and bob and even suzi now. how cool is that? no more enemies. speaking of friday...ewww. but thanks to everyone who tolerated and dragged my ass around...rick, steph, sam, everyone.
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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| Time: | 4:49 pm. |
| Mood: |  fulfilled. |
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"and the story goes like this..."
this past few days have seemed like forever, and it's because they've been so full. they've been full of fun things, crazy things, really unexpected things, sad things, naked things, meaningful things and a whole lot of low self esteem type things.
-->i went to elm fest and it was lame
-->i drove to the city and watched the firworks at navy pier
-->i went swimming in the middle of the night
-->my mom went to florida and is still not back
-->i fucked my hair up or made it look cool (depends how you look at it)
-->i played with ashley and emily alot
-->i watched the sun come up three days in a row
-->i slept over at three different peoples houses
-->i learned alot about people and myself
-->i got my first paycheck
-->i drove dan to steel alcohol at 2:30 in the morning
-->i watched eurotrip
-->i bleached emily's hair
-->i went to the casino in the middle of the night
-->i told alot of little lies to my parents
-->i said alot of prayers for my papa
-->i read alot of cosmo with two of my favorite people <3
-->i did alot of thinking...
-->i blew off an act test
-->i drove alot...all over
not having school lets me appriciate life a little more.
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Comments: Read 8 or Add Your Own.
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| Time: | 6:25 pm. |
| Mood: | sad. |
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i miss my mom =(
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